The holidays were filled with family and friends as we continued in our day-to-day lives. I worked my eight-to-five, taught on Thursday evenings, and prayed for the weekends. We would use our spare moments to get into the hustle and bustle of the season as we prepared for Christmas.
In my role, I did what I was told and began to search for answers. In a culture that values personal development, I took part in self-awareness trainings. As I sat in a room full of almost-strangers, I listened to everyone list out their strengths.
"It's amazing how everyone's role fits perfectly with their strengths," a co-worker said.
That's when I knew there was more than let down expectations in my doubt. Why, why would God put me in a role that stretched me so much outside of my comfort zone? When people told me how good I was doing, all I could think was, "you have no idea how hard it has been on me."
As an extrovert, I struggled being in front of a computer all day.
As a teacher and counselor, I had no one to help.
As a light into the world, everyone's lamp was already lit.
As a leader, I was in the corner.
As a relational being, I had no one.
No one, but God that is.
As a wife, I was absent.
Through my short time in my church, God blessed me with the opportunity to turn my thoughts to Him.
- To allow Him to guide my day
- To find energy in Him to get me through one more spreadsheet
- To decompress after a long day
- To find rest in Him
- To find joy in His morning
With God's provision-in His perfect timing-He paid for our largest financial debt. With one less bill to pay, we had the ability to think about our future in a way we never had. Just like that, a lifelong dream of being the person I have always wanted to be was coming true. And, with the support of my husband, we took a step of faith and I went from being Purchasing Coordinator to "Housewife".
Here's to the future and a deeper calling.
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