As I rounded the corner into the waiting area, I listened for that one cue I had prepared for.
Wait, where's the music? In my mind, I knew that people were about to walk down the aisle and "Goin' to the Chapel" was supposed to be playing. What is this? I started to panic. Then, it occurred to me. The mismatched music that was blaring in the room was coming from the television sitting just feet away. Well, great. I missed it. Thus, I stood quietly with my daddy as I patiently awaited the surprise I had put together for my groom.
Cue: Wouldn't Change a Thing.
-Grandparents
-Parents
Cue: Canon in D.
-Bridal Party
-Flowergirls
Wait for it...
Silence.
"January 24, 2009..."
There it was. After two years of dating this blue-eyed boy, I finally shared the secrets I had written. Numerous journal entries, carefully selected, were sounding from the speakers as I kept hidden. Weeks prior I met with my DJ in a recording studio to put together an audio collection for my wedding day. It was the little things that made me slowly open up to him, that made me ultimately fall in love with him.
The emotions came to life as I couldn't help but cry at my own words. The memories of each special moment in our relationship that brought us to this place-to this point in our lives.
As my daddy heard my voice for the first time, he looked down out me. "Did you?" he rounded the corner to avoid crying. Choked up with tears in his eyes, he reached for a Gatorade and gulped it as I waited for that one word.
"He's crying," my cousin told me as she waited outside of the door watching what I longed to see.
Then, after what seemed like an eternity, it came.
"May 21, 2011...Dear Lord," and thus I read a prayer that I had prayed over and over in my lifetime. I thanked God for the heartaches along this road called life. I prayed to bless our lives, our marriage, and to use us. I prayed for His blessing. Then, "Amen."
As my daddy started to walk forward, I squeezed his arm to hold him back.
"Not yet," I whispered.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Then, as the soloist sang out the words of the song that enveloped everything I wish I could have explained, I rounded the corner to see the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world. I saw the blue eyes that spoke a thousand words to my heart without saying a single word. I saw the tears streaming down the soft cheeks of a kind hearted man that felt exactly the same way I did. I saw just how much love was felt within.
With each step of the ceremony, I grew deeper and deeper in love with my groom. It's hard to say exactly what happened. I know that we read our vows, but I couldn't tell you exactly how they sounded or where I messed up. We exchanged our rings, but I don't fully remember how the rings got our fingers. Each person placed a single roses symbolizing each life that helped shape us in to the people we were. We tied together my bridal bouquet, took the Lord's Supper with our families, and the preacher said the words I could never have prepared myself for.
"You may now kiss your bride."
For a split second, the world stopped. No movie, photograph, or story could capture the feeling that came in that moment in time. My hand reached up and touched his face as I couldn't help but smile. This man, was my husband.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
You Know the Saying...
"...everything that can go wrong, will"? Well, it pretty much did. After soaking in a warm bath the night before the wedding, I assumed I would wake up refreshed and ready for the day ahead of me. Truth-be-told, I had a gotten a great night's sleep. That was until I woke up sick as a dog running to the "ladies" room. Boy, was it going to be a long day. After taking a nice dose of phenergan, my belly settled down and I laid back in bed until the bridesmaids woke up.
"Okay, so what all do we need to get done this morning?"
If it weren't for these girls, I would have lost it. I promised not to be bridezilla, and my dear friend gave the best advice of, "...just stay calm and take everything in." Therefore, when I realized just how much I had to do before walking down the aisle, I didn't sweat it. Instead, we made a pretty little list of "To do's" and got around to leave the hotel.
Breakfast, really? How in the world was I going to force something down into my belly while there were more nerves fluttering around in there than bees in a sweet honeycomb? Well, I tried. Believe me, you can ask the girls, I tried. I did manage to get part of a brown sugar poptart down (dabbed with a little butter, just like my momma used to fix for me when I was little...comfort food) and grabbed a banana to take on the way.
First stop of the day? Hobby Lobby. We ran in, went straight to the wedding section, and picked up my garter. It wasn't until I was standing in the aisle, surrounding by wedding decor, that I realized I didn't have a guest book pen, toasting flutes, or anything to use to serve the cake. Therefore, I picked up a few of these last minute things while reluctantly dialing future hubby to ask him to bring our crystal champagne flutes from the house when he went up to the country club.
While I was rushing around, my amazing (and I do mean AMAZING) groom was dealing with his own set of issues. 1) The beautiful baby grand piano (gutted and rotted from being out in a fire pit prior to our rescue) had to make it from Point A, our back patio, to Point B, the reception site, 2) Once arriving at the clubhouse, he found himself asking, "Where was the wedding designer/decorator/florist?"...along with the other questions of, 3) "Why aren't the tables set up downstairs?", 4) "Where is the rental items we requested and paid for, and 5)"How am I going to do everything the way my (obsessive compulsive) bride wanted BY MYSELF?" AND being the AMAZING person he was (as I mentioned above), he managed to keep all of these issues from me as to not make me worry.
Come to find out, our decorator didn't even show up at the venue until approximately 3 hours before guests were to arrive. Did I mention we were having an outdoor wedding? Oh, and this outdoor wedding was taking place at a location that never has weddings. The country club had booked a tournament on the same day as our wedding, leaving our lovely tables that were supposed to be hand delivered and set up for us that morning...inside, upstairs, in a room surrounded by people eating. The owner didn't even so much as mention to the workers that day that there was a wedding. Also, the rental items showed up (without the promised phone call ahead of time) on the back of a trailer. And that is where they stayed until future hubby had to help himself and set up over 200 chairs just like so.
La-ti-da. I was making the rounds at Target, Walmart, and stopping at the house to pick up the items I had conveniently forgotten before making it to our 10:45am appointment at the salon.
Let me just say this, despite the expense of getting a stylist and makeup artist, it was totally worth having someone make me up to feel like a princess. Hours of sitting with some of my best girl friends in the world, a can of hairspray, and eyelashes longer than the shorelines, I was ready to go.
Approximately two o'clock in the afternoon we left to grab lunch. By this time, I was ready to eat. AND keeping with my high sodium diet, I had McDonald's french fries. The whole thing of them. Then, I called to touch base with the rest of the world to make sure we were still on schedule.
Negative.
Since I had hired two of the most amazing photographers in the world, they had committed (and being the only loyal vendors we hired) they followed through with being on time. I, however, was not. Since everything was so chaotic around the site, my AMAZING groom was tied up...still. This meant a short trip with the girls to get ready at the new house. Oh, and did I mention that my mom was stuck helping all morning so she was running late as well? Oh, and that she had the very gown I was supposed to be sweetly laced up right about...now.
An hour after we were supposed to start pictures, my mom arrived to meet us at the clubhouse upstairs. Looking out the window, people were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. My designer was no where to be found, and thankfully my incredibly life-saving cousin was there to take the reigns. She started fumbling around to take tables downstairs in place of the missing guest book table and gift table. She tied black cloth (totally not matching, but very appreciated) around the tables and started setting things up. She met with the cake decorators, directed them where to place the cakes, tied ribbons on the back of chairs, placed pictures where needed, and managed to do so in a little black dress...with a smile on her face. All the while, I sat upstairs avoiding being seen by my handsome groom and the guests arriving on time.
Pictures were nearly impossible to take ahead of time with the bridal party, and flowers were no where to be found. Therefore, I looked at my sister (pretty close to breaking down in tears) told her how awful the day was, and said, "I am just so ready to get down there and get married." Then, it hit me. That is what the day was supposed to feel like. It didn't matter about the chaos and drama that surrounded it, or the million and one questions people were asking to try to pull this thing off...it was supposed to feel like I was ready. A few quick shots and we were literally moments away from the ceremony beginning.
Wait, my something old?
My baby bonnet made into a hanky tucked inside my gown.
Something new? My precious cameo to match my big sister. Check.
Something borrowed? A strand of pearls from my grandmother's jewelry collection.
"Okay, so what all do we need to get done this morning?"
If it weren't for these girls, I would have lost it. I promised not to be bridezilla, and my dear friend gave the best advice of, "...just stay calm and take everything in." Therefore, when I realized just how much I had to do before walking down the aisle, I didn't sweat it. Instead, we made a pretty little list of "To do's" and got around to leave the hotel.
Breakfast, really? How in the world was I going to force something down into my belly while there were more nerves fluttering around in there than bees in a sweet honeycomb? Well, I tried. Believe me, you can ask the girls, I tried. I did manage to get part of a brown sugar poptart down (dabbed with a little butter, just like my momma used to fix for me when I was little...comfort food) and grabbed a banana to take on the way.
First stop of the day? Hobby Lobby. We ran in, went straight to the wedding section, and picked up my garter. It wasn't until I was standing in the aisle, surrounding by wedding decor, that I realized I didn't have a guest book pen, toasting flutes, or anything to use to serve the cake. Therefore, I picked up a few of these last minute things while reluctantly dialing future hubby to ask him to bring our crystal champagne flutes from the house when he went up to the country club.
While I was rushing around, my amazing (and I do mean AMAZING) groom was dealing with his own set of issues. 1) The beautiful baby grand piano (gutted and rotted from being out in a fire pit prior to our rescue) had to make it from Point A, our back patio, to Point B, the reception site, 2) Once arriving at the clubhouse, he found himself asking, "Where was the wedding designer/decorator/florist?"...along with the other questions of, 3) "Why aren't the tables set up downstairs?", 4) "Where is the rental items we requested and paid for, and 5)"How am I going to do everything the way my (obsessive compulsive) bride wanted BY MYSELF?" AND being the AMAZING person he was (as I mentioned above), he managed to keep all of these issues from me as to not make me worry.
Come to find out, our decorator didn't even show up at the venue until approximately 3 hours before guests were to arrive. Did I mention we were having an outdoor wedding? Oh, and this outdoor wedding was taking place at a location that never has weddings. The country club had booked a tournament on the same day as our wedding, leaving our lovely tables that were supposed to be hand delivered and set up for us that morning...inside, upstairs, in a room surrounded by people eating. The owner didn't even so much as mention to the workers that day that there was a wedding. Also, the rental items showed up (without the promised phone call ahead of time) on the back of a trailer. And that is where they stayed until future hubby had to help himself and set up over 200 chairs just like so.
La-ti-da. I was making the rounds at Target, Walmart, and stopping at the house to pick up the items I had conveniently forgotten before making it to our 10:45am appointment at the salon.
Let me just say this, despite the expense of getting a stylist and makeup artist, it was totally worth having someone make me up to feel like a princess. Hours of sitting with some of my best girl friends in the world, a can of hairspray, and eyelashes longer than the shorelines, I was ready to go.
Approximately two o'clock in the afternoon we left to grab lunch. By this time, I was ready to eat. AND keeping with my high sodium diet, I had McDonald's french fries. The whole thing of them. Then, I called to touch base with the rest of the world to make sure we were still on schedule.
Negative.
Since I had hired two of the most amazing photographers in the world, they had committed (and being the only loyal vendors we hired) they followed through with being on time. I, however, was not. Since everything was so chaotic around the site, my AMAZING groom was tied up...still. This meant a short trip with the girls to get ready at the new house. Oh, and did I mention that my mom was stuck helping all morning so she was running late as well? Oh, and that she had the very gown I was supposed to be sweetly laced up right about...now.
An hour after we were supposed to start pictures, my mom arrived to meet us at the clubhouse upstairs. Looking out the window, people were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. My designer was no where to be found, and thankfully my incredibly life-saving cousin was there to take the reigns. She started fumbling around to take tables downstairs in place of the missing guest book table and gift table. She tied black cloth (totally not matching, but very appreciated) around the tables and started setting things up. She met with the cake decorators, directed them where to place the cakes, tied ribbons on the back of chairs, placed pictures where needed, and managed to do so in a little black dress...with a smile on her face. All the while, I sat upstairs avoiding being seen by my handsome groom and the guests arriving on time.
Pictures were nearly impossible to take ahead of time with the bridal party, and flowers were no where to be found. Therefore, I looked at my sister (pretty close to breaking down in tears) told her how awful the day was, and said, "I am just so ready to get down there and get married." Then, it hit me. That is what the day was supposed to feel like. It didn't matter about the chaos and drama that surrounded it, or the million and one questions people were asking to try to pull this thing off...it was supposed to feel like I was ready. A few quick shots and we were literally moments away from the ceremony beginning.
Wait, my something old?My baby bonnet made into a hanky tucked inside my gown.
Something new? My precious cameo to match my big sister. Check.
Something borrowed? A strand of pearls from my grandmother's jewelry collection.
Something blue? My handwritten, chicken-scratch scribbled vows that were conveniently written with a blue pen just before getting into my gown. I had slipped on some beautiful pearl earrings from my mom's jewelry until they were soon replaced with my very own pair when the best man arrived with a tiny box. I opened it and found the most precious diamond and pearl earrings I had ever seen as a gift from my future hubby.
And last, but not least, I rounded the corner down the stairwell as everyone hustled to the ceremony as the music began. "Where's my daddy?" Then, just as always, he came to the rescue. I plopped down on the stairstep as my daddy pulled a "special" penny (dated the year I was born) that he had been keeping close all week. He kneeled down on the ground and slipped the worn copper piece into my ruffled white high heel.
Well, this was it.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Two Days and Counting
Yes, you heard me right. I am officially two days away from the wedding. Not only am two days away, but I am 0 days away from no work until after Memorial Day. And thank goodness. This week has honestly taken a toll on me. I wish, I wish I could have given myself a few days to relax before the hustle and bustle of wedding fun. Oh well.
Today was, how can I put this lightly, awful. Running late to work this morning, I was on the phone with my momma telling her all of the many, many things I had to get AFTER work at Hobby Lobby. Before I knew it, I had taken a wrong turn and was almost to the Hobby Lobby parking lot. Yes, my brain is somewhere else.
Once arriving to my day job, I managed to pile on the "to do's" the more I sat there. Only half a day and yet, it seemed like there was no winning. I rushed on my lunch "hour" (actually the 30minutes I HAD to get out of the office in order to get some much needed errands wrapped up, grab SOMETHING to snack on, and talk to our officiant about the last minute details before he arrived in town). I guess I took the "rushing" too literally, because the next thing I knew my foot slipped onto the brakes as I saw a pretty little black-and-white car sitting across from me flashing their lights. You guessed it, police. Oh how I wish I could have taken those few moments of distraction back. How in the world had I managed to pull this one off? Two days before my wedding and I allowed myself to be so irresponsible that I did the deed. I took my eyes off of the speedometer and my foot to the floor. One hundred and sixty one dollars later, I was back at work, tears and all.
As I clocked in from my lunch "break", my boss sweetly mentioned that she did not have me off for that afternoon and asked me to stay and get my marriage license TOMORROW. Yes, to add to my long list of things to get done ONE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING, the LAST thing I needed was to add a trip to the courthouse with the future hubbs.
On top of waking up early, getting all of my last minute (...and I do mean "last minute") shopping done, finalizing plans with vendors, trying to relax with my momma and sister as we spent the last few hours together getting our nails done (no time for pedicures, just manicures), checking lists over and over, getting my hair and makeup done as a trial run for the wedding (since I had to cancel my bridal pictures TWICE from being sick for the past few months), meeting with our officiant to figure out the ceremony details (without a program...because of course I didn't have time to make them), and having our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner...why not add an hour long process of driving to El Reno and waiting in line only to drive back in town to rush to get ready for MY wedding. It seems to me that people are forgetting that this isn't something that happens every other day. Although, in our society it happens more than it should. We are talking about the ONLY time I will be getting married. The one day of my life that I have dreamt of and prayed for over since I was a little girl.
So, when my boss asked me to stay and wait until the next day to run my "errand" (kind of important one seeing how if I didn't do it then there would be no "marriage"), I lost it. I choked back the tears and put my job on the line as I told her, "No, I can't do it tomorrow. I'm already cutting it close to the courthouse closing by me leaving at the time I am." Thus, I wrapped up my day at the office and ran to meet my groom.
Is it just me or does anyone else out there picture "the courthouse" as something similar to the state capital? You know, the tall steps leading to a large, white building that has been built to last with beautiful marble floors and tall columns. Hello? The courthouse was NOTHING like I envisioned. You walk into this dark hallway (with a metal detector lining the doorway...how welcoming). Only to be greeted by cranky clerks that are there to sign paperwork and apparently are not happy to do it. Not only that, but how romantic is it to walk up to a counter that states "divorce decrees" just the left of the happy newlyweds?
Well, despite this let down, I didn't let it keep me from asking the officer to take our picture as we held up our marriage license next to the metal detector.
Finally, we headed out to meet the "whole gang" for the first of the weekend's festivities! Family, friends, food, and fellowship...what better way to start a wedding?!
Today was, how can I put this lightly, awful. Running late to work this morning, I was on the phone with my momma telling her all of the many, many things I had to get AFTER work at Hobby Lobby. Before I knew it, I had taken a wrong turn and was almost to the Hobby Lobby parking lot. Yes, my brain is somewhere else.
Once arriving to my day job, I managed to pile on the "to do's" the more I sat there. Only half a day and yet, it seemed like there was no winning. I rushed on my lunch "hour" (actually the 30minutes I HAD to get out of the office in order to get some much needed errands wrapped up, grab SOMETHING to snack on, and talk to our officiant about the last minute details before he arrived in town). I guess I took the "rushing" too literally, because the next thing I knew my foot slipped onto the brakes as I saw a pretty little black-and-white car sitting across from me flashing their lights. You guessed it, police. Oh how I wish I could have taken those few moments of distraction back. How in the world had I managed to pull this one off? Two days before my wedding and I allowed myself to be so irresponsible that I did the deed. I took my eyes off of the speedometer and my foot to the floor. One hundred and sixty one dollars later, I was back at work, tears and all.
As I clocked in from my lunch "break", my boss sweetly mentioned that she did not have me off for that afternoon and asked me to stay and get my marriage license TOMORROW. Yes, to add to my long list of things to get done ONE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING, the LAST thing I needed was to add a trip to the courthouse with the future hubbs.
On top of waking up early, getting all of my last minute (...and I do mean "last minute") shopping done, finalizing plans with vendors, trying to relax with my momma and sister as we spent the last few hours together getting our nails done (no time for pedicures, just manicures), checking lists over and over, getting my hair and makeup done as a trial run for the wedding (since I had to cancel my bridal pictures TWICE from being sick for the past few months), meeting with our officiant to figure out the ceremony details (without a program...because of course I didn't have time to make them), and having our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner...why not add an hour long process of driving to El Reno and waiting in line only to drive back in town to rush to get ready for MY wedding. It seems to me that people are forgetting that this isn't something that happens every other day. Although, in our society it happens more than it should. We are talking about the ONLY time I will be getting married. The one day of my life that I have dreamt of and prayed for over since I was a little girl.
So, when my boss asked me to stay and wait until the next day to run my "errand" (kind of important one seeing how if I didn't do it then there would be no "marriage"), I lost it. I choked back the tears and put my job on the line as I told her, "No, I can't do it tomorrow. I'm already cutting it close to the courthouse closing by me leaving at the time I am." Thus, I wrapped up my day at the office and ran to meet my groom.
Is it just me or does anyone else out there picture "the courthouse" as something similar to the state capital? You know, the tall steps leading to a large, white building that has been built to last with beautiful marble floors and tall columns. Hello? The courthouse was NOTHING like I envisioned. You walk into this dark hallway (with a metal detector lining the doorway...how welcoming). Only to be greeted by cranky clerks that are there to sign paperwork and apparently are not happy to do it. Not only that, but how romantic is it to walk up to a counter that states "divorce decrees" just the left of the happy newlyweds?
Well, despite this let down, I didn't let it keep me from asking the officer to take our picture as we held up our marriage license next to the metal detector.
Finally, we headed out to meet the "whole gang" for the first of the weekend's festivities! Family, friends, food, and fellowship...what better way to start a wedding?!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Meet the Fam
Why is it that time flies when you're having fun, and yet, time stands still when all you want to do is have fun? So much to do, so little time. Why am I working this week again? The minute hand seemed to drag as all I could do was think about the long list of "to do's" I had waiting for me this week. Not to mention future-hubby's family was flying in from Tennessee today, and we would be joining them as soon as I got off of work.
Work, seriously? I honestly think my mind was in a different world today. That's to be expected though, right? I mean, it's not everyday that you get married. My heart speeds everytime I think about it. I cannot believe I am actually days (not even weeks) away from walking down the aisle and becoming Mrs.
With that being said, it just hit me that I only have a few days to get things done. I feel like Santa preparing for Christmas Eve with all of the lists I have to check twice. Last minute shopping trips, phone calls to make, people to see, and oh how I wish I could be at more than one place at a time. Someday, I WILL learn how to say "no". Like when I overcommitted myself to spend every evening this week doing something other than what I NEED to be doing to get ready for the big day. All I know now is that, at this point, I am just ready for it to be here. I am ready to forget about everything else, everyone else, and say "I Do." Because really, I do. After two and a half years of getting to know the man that stands behind this little ring on my finger, I am so anxious to be his wife.
Trust me, we have had our ups and downs. Honestly, I question how many ups we have truly had. So many problems have stood in our way, and we have both grown more and more through them all. I am reminded of all of the many...MANY mistakes I have made over the years. The heartaches I have felt and the ones I have caused. I can only live out this relationship from today on in a way that satisfies the Lord's will for my life and marriage. God is so good to shape us into the person we are created to be. I feel as if I have finally allowed Him to take control of my life and (with resistance) hand over the pen to write my love story. In the past, I felt as if I was walking through the motions trying to create the perfect ending I desired so much. The truth is, "perfect ending" is the day the Lord calls us home, and everything until then is the steps we take to get closer to Him. It isn't about someone worshipping the ground I walk on enough to think there isn't a single flaw within me. It is about someone worshipping the God that created me and someone loving me despite the flaws I possess (and there are many).
Over time, I have placed my halo aside and realized (brutally) that I am NOT an angel. I struggle just like everyone else. I tried so hard to be someone I wanted to be, but not who I really am.
Wow, did I get off topic or what? Ultimately, the point of this blog was to let the world know that today I am meeting the people that helped raise the sweet young man that I have chosen to commit my life to. I will be gaining insight into who he really is and where he comes from. Hope they like me!
Work, seriously? I honestly think my mind was in a different world today. That's to be expected though, right? I mean, it's not everyday that you get married. My heart speeds everytime I think about it. I cannot believe I am actually days (not even weeks) away from walking down the aisle and becoming Mrs.
With that being said, it just hit me that I only have a few days to get things done. I feel like Santa preparing for Christmas Eve with all of the lists I have to check twice. Last minute shopping trips, phone calls to make, people to see, and oh how I wish I could be at more than one place at a time. Someday, I WILL learn how to say "no". Like when I overcommitted myself to spend every evening this week doing something other than what I NEED to be doing to get ready for the big day. All I know now is that, at this point, I am just ready for it to be here. I am ready to forget about everything else, everyone else, and say "I Do." Because really, I do. After two and a half years of getting to know the man that stands behind this little ring on my finger, I am so anxious to be his wife.
Trust me, we have had our ups and downs. Honestly, I question how many ups we have truly had. So many problems have stood in our way, and we have both grown more and more through them all. I am reminded of all of the many...MANY mistakes I have made over the years. The heartaches I have felt and the ones I have caused. I can only live out this relationship from today on in a way that satisfies the Lord's will for my life and marriage. God is so good to shape us into the person we are created to be. I feel as if I have finally allowed Him to take control of my life and (with resistance) hand over the pen to write my love story. In the past, I felt as if I was walking through the motions trying to create the perfect ending I desired so much. The truth is, "perfect ending" is the day the Lord calls us home, and everything until then is the steps we take to get closer to Him. It isn't about someone worshipping the ground I walk on enough to think there isn't a single flaw within me. It is about someone worshipping the God that created me and someone loving me despite the flaws I possess (and there are many).
Over time, I have placed my halo aside and realized (brutally) that I am NOT an angel. I struggle just like everyone else. I tried so hard to be someone I wanted to be, but not who I really am.
Wow, did I get off topic or what? Ultimately, the point of this blog was to let the world know that today I am meeting the people that helped raise the sweet young man that I have chosen to commit my life to. I will be gaining insight into who he really is and where he comes from. Hope they like me!
Monday, May 16, 2011
The Week Before Marriage...
Dear World,
This is the last week of the old me. As of Saturday, I will no longer have the same name, same ID, or same left hand. I will no longer mark the "single" status when filling about paperwork. My permanent address changes, it becomes OUR home, and I will have a husband. Until that day, I am merely me. This translates to waking up early in the morning, getting ready for work, making my daily drive, working eight-to-five and TRYING to place wedding planning into the mix.
You see, I have a confession. I AM obsessive compulsive when it comes to planning ESPECIALLY when it comes to weddings. I just love get togethers. The food, family and friends all surrounded by a beautiful atmosphere...I could do it everyday. Seriously, everyday. With this being said, I have planned this wedding to a T. First and foremost, however, there is one thing I truly desire for this day. More than any beautiful pink roses, gorgeous white drapes flowing from ceiling to floor, clear wine glasses that sparkle in the sunlight...more than white gown that makes me feel like a princess...I want to see tears of joy in the man that I love.
With all of this health-drama, I feel less than prepared for the day ahead of me. It's funny how something I have dreamt about for a decade, planned for a year, and prayed for can have so much surrounding it. Whoever had the smart idea of working all week before their wedding, wasn't so smart. And by saying "whoever", I mean me. Since I had been forced to take off for days at a time for testing and doctors appointments, I have little to no time before my big day to take off. This makes for a very hectic week ahead. I somehow have to pull everything together, meet out-of-town guests and new family members, and get all of the wedding "stuff" done in my freetime (And by saying "freetime", I mean the non-existent extra portion of the day that I don't already have a million and one things going through my head).
Ready or not, here I come!
This is the last week of the old me. As of Saturday, I will no longer have the same name, same ID, or same left hand. I will no longer mark the "single" status when filling about paperwork. My permanent address changes, it becomes OUR home, and I will have a husband. Until that day, I am merely me. This translates to waking up early in the morning, getting ready for work, making my daily drive, working eight-to-five and TRYING to place wedding planning into the mix.
You see, I have a confession. I AM obsessive compulsive when it comes to planning ESPECIALLY when it comes to weddings. I just love get togethers. The food, family and friends all surrounded by a beautiful atmosphere...I could do it everyday. Seriously, everyday. With this being said, I have planned this wedding to a T. First and foremost, however, there is one thing I truly desire for this day. More than any beautiful pink roses, gorgeous white drapes flowing from ceiling to floor, clear wine glasses that sparkle in the sunlight...more than white gown that makes me feel like a princess...I want to see tears of joy in the man that I love.
With all of this health-drama, I feel less than prepared for the day ahead of me. It's funny how something I have dreamt about for a decade, planned for a year, and prayed for can have so much surrounding it. Whoever had the smart idea of working all week before their wedding, wasn't so smart. And by saying "whoever", I mean me. Since I had been forced to take off for days at a time for testing and doctors appointments, I have little to no time before my big day to take off. This makes for a very hectic week ahead. I somehow have to pull everything together, meet out-of-town guests and new family members, and get all of the wedding "stuff" done in my freetime (And by saying "freetime", I mean the non-existent extra portion of the day that I don't already have a million and one things going through my head).
Ready or not, here I come!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Neurocardiogenic Syncope
Well, a lot has changed since the last time I spoke. First of all, I have officially had more tests run on my little body than a fifty year old woman. After months of eating right to maintain my sugar levels, something just wasn't right. My weight dropped ten pounds and I was consistently in pain. One great seafood dinner and a night feeling as if I was gong to die landed me in the emergency room. A long morning later lead to uncertainty and an appointment scheduled with my family physician. Bloodwork, tests, a colonoscopy, endoscopy, x-rays, catscans, ultrasounds...nothing. It wasn't until I embarrassingly blacked out at the local Walmart that placed me in the heart hospital. What a blessing! Five months of feeling as if I was walking in a broken body, I was finally getting closer to myself.
Neurocardiogenic syncope.
It all made sense. The headaches, dizziness, nausea, chest pains, fainting...all because of mixed signals between my brain and heart. Who knew?
The good news is we know something. The bad news? We didn't find out until approximately one week from the biggest day of my life. Therefore I am left with untied ends and a tight schedule. Since the possibility of passing out at any given moment was very probable if I were to stand for hours in a photo shoot, I opted to postpone my bridal portraits until post wedding bliss. Also, days were missed at my bittersweet job due to countless procedures and hospital visits. This meant I had approximately one full day to get my marriage license, take care of prewedding details, finalizing vendor responsibilities and enjoy the night with family and friends before walking down the aisle to my best friend.
Neurocardiogenic syncope.
It all made sense. The headaches, dizziness, nausea, chest pains, fainting...all because of mixed signals between my brain and heart. Who knew?
The good news is we know something. The bad news? We didn't find out until approximately one week from the biggest day of my life. Therefore I am left with untied ends and a tight schedule. Since the possibility of passing out at any given moment was very probable if I were to stand for hours in a photo shoot, I opted to postpone my bridal portraits until post wedding bliss. Also, days were missed at my bittersweet job due to countless procedures and hospital visits. This meant I had approximately one full day to get my marriage license, take care of prewedding details, finalizing vendor responsibilities and enjoy the night with family and friends before walking down the aisle to my best friend.
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