Somehow

Somehow I woke up this morning
And the worries I had managed to hide
The feelings of pain and anger
Were no longer deep inside

I was able to refrain from hitting snooze
I felt a peace inside my heart
I knew I was blessed with the day ahead
God was giving me a fresh start

I walked out the door and into the cold
I drove to meet you
You simply smiled at me
I smiled too

It's been so long since I felt like I could laugh
I thought that meant I didn't care
I was over it all
It didn't matter that he wasn't there

But the truth is this
I care more than you'll understand
I had given my all
I can't just forget all I had planned

I will never be okay with the fact that this happened
It cut into my soul
It took a part of me
I no longer feel whole

I will learn to surrender less to his memory
I will learn to live
I will learn to continue on
I will learn to forgive

Today I was able to look you in the eyes
I didn't feel guilt or fear
I felt happy
I was glad you were here

We talked for hours
We risked the storm
And even though I've been weak and lonely lately
My heart began to feel warmth

Part of me wanted to feel nothing
I wanted to lie so I wouldn't feel the pain
But the truth is I can't
I'm learning to care again

I won't say I've fallen
Because I can't say I have
I just know you mean something to me
I'm not ready to lose that

I hope I can be honest with you
I hope you feel the same
I hope you enjoyed being with me
I hope you're glad you came

I know that even if there is nothing more between us to you
I have to say thank you
I now believe in what is to come up ahead
And I know our dreams will come true