Just like flossing...

I can remember it like it was yesterday when we sat as a couple on the left side of the auditorium the first Sunday of this year.  Pastor Craig questioned seriously what words would be read if we were to write our story.

He used the example of when he gets up and flosses, he is more likely to continue making positive decisions. It reminded me of the breakfast bar commercials where one person chooses to eat the healthy snack instead of the donut that will lead to the slice of pizza, etc.

You just have to start flossing.

It was then and there that we made the decision to start something.  It started out with making the conscious effort to attend church-every single week. Yes, we both grew up in the same hometown church-attending regularly.  I was there on Sunday mornings and evenings, and went to Focus (our youth ministry) on Wednesdays. I sang in children's choir, was in every Christmas play, attended VBS as a kiddo, accepted Christ as my savior, was baptized and looked forward to going to each and every camp that came on the calendar.

After our longtime youth pastor left, I no longer had a personal relationship with the leaders of our ministry.   I wasn't included in the "inner circle" of Christians at church.  You know, the pretty girls and cute boys that got along with the pastor and his wife..the families that were highly involved by donating their time and resources to the other teens (with their large houses and swimming pools). I wasn't a cool kid.  In fact, I was a scrawny, under confident little girl with glasses and braces that struggled to fit in.

Then, my priorities shifted. I attended churches weekly with whichever boyfriend I was dating at the time, and rumors spread. No one missed me when I wasn't there.I wasn't a "good leader" anymore. The people I once called friends began pushing me away (or maybe I was pulling away). I left my hometown church in high school, searching for a place to call my "home".

Once in college, I faced one of the most difficult times of my life. Each day became harder and harder to want to go on. I attended the BCM on campus and even tried to go to a few small groups in town.  Everywhere I went I felt judged. I didn't have the singing voice to lead praise and worship, I didn't have the money to attend extra functions where everyone went for fellowship, I didn't have the same priorities of having fun as most of the other people around me.  I felt that each of them were hypocrites for claiming to love the God of the Universe and acting the complete opposite towards those around them. They would mock the less fortunate and drink on the weekends before going to church. They gave Christians a bad name, but then again...so did I.

It was hard to see past myself when I was amidst the biggest pity party of my life.  I was overly critical and made excuses for everything. Even for the first few years of our relationship, my husband and I would talk about our relationships with God and would chose not to go to church for whatever reason we could find at the time. 

"We don't get anything out of it when we go."

"We don't believe in the leadership there."

Aside from occassional visits or going on holidays, we went years without attending.

So, as we sat towards the middle aisle in January, we chose to start flossing. We chose to start calling Lifechurch our church home.

In the following months, we made the decision to give our tithes and offerings. We chose to serve.  We attended the "newcomer" event at our church-after attending off-and-on for four years. We chose to change our attitudes. We chose to make our number one priority our relationship with Christ Jesus, our Lord. We chose to put our family directly below Him. We chose to pray together.

Every day seems to be a fork in the road where we are forced to decide which path to take. We are continuing to let go as we entrust Him with the finances that rightfully are His. More recently, we have been faced with the decision to give our careers over to the Lord. Today seems to be the last heartbreak before giving our jobs over to Him. I prayed at the beginning of the week for God to provide whatever his will was for our family. As my husband was approached for a potential job, I prayed that whatever was right would happen. If at any point, it was a distraction for what He had planned for our family-if it was a temptation that we needed to resist-I prayed for God to slam the door.

I received word this morning that the door was closed, locked, and boarded up. 
Therefore, I am personally (and audibly) giving my family over to the Lord. I pray that He will use us as an instrument for His will and he will provide the ability to follow the desires of our hearts that He purposefully placed within us. I am standing with arms open to receive whatever He wants for our family. I pray that others will stand in agreement with us in the decisions we make and we will be granted clarity during this difficult time.  Thank you for the love and support you have given us thus far, and may God bless you as He has blessed us.