The Truth

Part Three.
Just to reiterate where my heart falls regarding marriage, when I said I do it was with the intentions that our marriage would directly illustrate the love between Christ and the Church.

Coming home to find dinner on the table, the house swept and cleaned, the laundry washed and dried, and a husband with outstretched arms-my husband is an incredible provider. He not only gets up at the crack of dawn to go to work, but he comes home and tends to the house (inside and out). He helps provide for us financially and maintain my sanity by keeping up with the chores I rarely have time to do. This, in itself, would be a girl's dream come true.

However, as someone that is deeply grounded in traditional views, I constantly find myself struggling with the idea that I am not doing "my part". True, my husband has never once complained or asked more of me. In fact, on my afternoon off early yesterday he specifically asked me to rest rather than worry about cleaning.

No, it isn't just the expectation that I would like to be little miss homemaker-taking care of the house and kids while having dinner on the table when hubby comes home from work (in a suit/tie, briefcase in hand). No, it isn't just the thought that it would be nice to not have to be pulling extra hours and bending over backwards. Contrary to what people may think, my biggest frustration with not being able to pull my weight in the household has to do with something much bigger than myself.

I can only imagine how it breaks God's heart every time someone chooses to go to a little league game over helping disciple baby Christians on the weekend. I can picture his sadness when someone commits to going into work (for the seventh day in a row) and Church is put on the back burner, again. It wears me down to think that a family has dinner in their separate rooms because they have "too much to do" between work and homework that evening to worry about talking together. I think about how upsetting it would be to be the Lord of creation, paint the most beautiful sunrise the world has ever seen, and someone be so rushed that morning-running late-that they forget to thank God for His beauty.

Back to my point. Every single time I put my agenda ahead of my family's, I am saying that it is okay to put my husband on the sidelines. I am telling the world that it is okay to continue living in a hurry and forget to praise God that day-because your boss asked you to come into work. I am saying that it is okay for a person to make God second, or third in their life because bills have to be paid (and that money means more than that relationship). And, each and every time I allow complacency into my life...thinking it is okay for me to selflessly continue to accept each of the blessings my husband gives me without stopping to carry some of the burden...I am saying that it is okay to continue taking for granted the love/mercy/grace/salvation that God has offered us.

No, it is not 'okay'.

I pray that those out there will see that today I am taking the step in our marriage to put my husband ahead of my job, my friends, my plans and my wants. Today, I am taking a step of faith that Christ will be the center of our marriage, and that my love for my husband will resonate into the lives of those around me to see-it is not okay to continue thinking that it is an option to spend time with the God of the Universe. In fact, he has been with you all along.