Bye, bye love

After almost a decade of doing the selfless duty of caring for others, I had to say goodbye to my sweet, little car. Her silver paint was like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, and her sunroof-a breath of fresh air. She drove me safely from point A to point B every day. She never complained that she didn't get to pick where to go when we traveled, but always let me choose what I wanted to do that day.  She provided a roof over my head and protected me from more storms than I could count. And, when I crossed the wrong person many years ago, she protected me from the pain and took the hit instead of me.

Yes, I have a lot of thank yous to say to my sweet Grand Am. She never caused even a scratch to harm me. She exposed herself to be vulnerable to others-curb after curb(after curb)-never complaining to give her more space when I got her a little too close to others. She never seemed embarrassed that I was with her, and always gave me a positive word when I turned on the radio. Her music comforted me and her seats provided a safe place to rest my head when working three jobs in college.

December 29, 2012 was a page turned that will change our friendship forever. As I turned the same key I had used, all those times before, something was different. Instead of doing what I wanted her to do, she finally put her foot down. At that very moment, I knew that things would never be the same. I could no longer count on her to be there for me when I needed a place to go. I could no longer ask for her help when the weather was too cold to bear. And above else, I could never feel the same safety I felt all those times before. No, my sweet Grandma Lydia was trying to say something that was too hard to swallow. She was trying to tell me 'goodbye'.

As my husband and I drove across town to look for a new car, I was overwhelmed with sadness. How could I possibly give this up?  I don't have to pay for her love, she just gives it.  But a new car?  I must earn that trust all over again, one penny at a time.

I knew from the time I sat in her seats that she wasn't the same, and after speaking to her owner I decided it was too soon to give her up.

Driving home, we decided to take one last look. This time, at a dealership down the street from our house-one I passed weekly. There, from the moment I first saw her, I knew she was the one that was going to start a new chapter in our book. Seeing the price tag on her window was instantly an obstacle, but patiently waiting for a change of heart-her owner decided to take less. It was hard to walk away from the deal, knowing that she could have been the one, but I knew it was one more day with my sweet car and too much to pay for her loyalty.

Just then, as we pulled out of the parking place, something terrifying and wonderful happened. I knew her voice like my own, every squeak and squeal, but this time was different. This time-it was for good. She wouldn't start. She wouldn't move. We begged her to move, but she wouldn't. With tears in my eyes, I cried out, "Please, no. Not now". And, as if by a miracle she heard me.

She started slow but got us home. We took it as a sign to call them back. I knew it would be hard, but worth it in the end; and, I knew it was time for her to go.

December 31, 2012 I traded in my beautiful, silver car for someone else.

Meet my new car: