I continued to teach on Thursday evenings and went to substitute training at my hometown as I wondered where the money would come from.
"If I sub a couple of times a month, that could take care of..."
My head was spinning.
I buried myself into cleaning the house and rearranging as I sold items (kitchen table, decor, workout machine) to add to our bank account. Any opportunity to pick up extra shifts at work, I took.
Now, there is something to be said about going through infertility struggles. Unless you have been there, and everyone's journey is different, it is difficult to put yourself in their shoes.
As an outsider, you think to yourself, "God's timing is perfect."
Or, "when you stop trying it will happen."
Then, there's my favorite, "Be glad you don't have kids yet, because everything changes when you do."
We have had friends that can look at each other and have another baby.
Some people decided they want a child, go off their birth control, and two months later have a positive pregnancy test.
Others wait for a while and wonder why it isn't happening, go to the doctor, realize there is nothing wrong, stop stressing out about it, and get pregnant.
Then there are the miracles that happen when two people try for years, pray for a baby, get ready to go through surgery, discover they have been miraculously healed, and find out they are pregnant.
Then, there is us.
Joshua and I have officially tried for more than three years, gone through multiple procedures, changed our diet and lifestyle, quit stressful jobs that were toxic to our health, lived on nothing but a prayer, and we are still waiting.
This, I believe, is the hardest part of our journey.
Now, there is something to be said about going through infertility struggles. Unless you have been there, and everyone's journey is different, it is difficult to put yourself in their shoes.
As an outsider, you think to yourself, "God's timing is perfect."
Or, "when you stop trying it will happen."
Then, there's my favorite, "Be glad you don't have kids yet, because everything changes when you do."
We have had friends that can look at each other and have another baby.
Some people decided they want a child, go off their birth control, and two months later have a positive pregnancy test.
Others wait for a while and wonder why it isn't happening, go to the doctor, realize there is nothing wrong, stop stressing out about it, and get pregnant.
Then there are the miracles that happen when two people try for years, pray for a baby, get ready to go through surgery, discover they have been miraculously healed, and find out they are pregnant.
Then, there is us.
Joshua and I have officially tried for more than three years, gone through multiple procedures, changed our diet and lifestyle, quit stressful jobs that were toxic to our health, lived on nothing but a prayer, and we are still waiting.
This, I believe, is the hardest part of our journey.
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