My Journey to Mrs. Oklahoma, First Impressions and Frustrations

"Brittany?
Brittany."

"Here!"

I sneaked in the side door to the auditorium just as the director called my name for roll.  Suddenly, I was taken back to my college days and felt as if I was the final student making my way into the classroom when the teacher took attendance.  I took my seat and was immediately remorseful as she shared the importance of being prompt and respecting everyone's time.

Wow, what a great first impression.

With most of us meeting for the first time, we were asked to go around the room at introduce ourselves and state why we were there.  Several of the women spoke up about the fact that they were there "to win Mrs. Oklahoma".  One of the women even joked that no one came to "win first runner-up".  Ginger shared about her passions and the drive that brought her there.  I was just...honest.

I shared that I felt called to do this, and I had no idea why God placed me there.  I was looking forward to learning what His plan would entail.

We listened to a few inspirational stories before making our way onto the stage for rehearsal.  After practicing with Ginger, I was confident I would know exactly what to do.

Wrong.

The show changed directions entirely, and I was starting back at square one.  Most of the women there had competed multiple times prior, and I could feel my insecurities start to surface.  The heels I had intentionally picked out to add some height were instantly a regret as I struggled to make myself look graceful. 

Let me reiterate that.

I struggled.

For those of you out there that haven't participated in a pageant, let me just stop you before you minimize how much work goes into one.  There is nothing easy about it.  The financial requirements, stress, emotions, criticism, and effort take a lot out of you.  And, this hit me about the time we started to practice our opening number.

Those of you that have been graced by my presence when dancing, you know.  Any of you that haven't seen my two left feet can only imagine how bad it really was.  So, let me start off by saying that I have no rythym.

First of all, the beautiful and talented, Austen Williams (Mrs. America 2013) stepped in front of us as a choeographer.  Let me just say, she is out of this world.  As a minister of the Gospel, I admire her so much.  She is an unbelievable role model and has a personality like a dynamite.  She is amazing...and, she has rythym.

So, when she began to say things like "up, down" my hips had no idea to what she was referring to.  As she would count things off, I would think, "I can count, right?"  However, counting and keeping to the beat are two different things.  I began to push harder and was determined to get it down.  Then, I noticed a few of my peers struggling in the same things. 

"Whew, what a relief."

I chose to speak up for all of us.  I asked questions and became "that girl".  I watched attentively to those around me.  When I noticed the look of frustration come across their face, I reminded them of their accomplishments.  I began to think less of how I looked in front of everyone, and thought more of these women that I considered friends. 

"Friends don't let friends go out looking crazy," Austen said.

That resonated with me in a way that I cannot explain.  I will love each of these girls and put them first.  If they need something, I will be there.  When they feel like giving up, I will lift them up.  I will love the least of these.

Practice flew by, and the day disappeared shortly after.  I rushed to check in at the hotel as I met my husband for our dinner party.  My attitude was very solemn as I began to reflect on what everything meant.  At that moment, I knew I had lost and won all at the same time.  It was evident that this was the purpose I had in coming to Mrs. Oklahoma. 

I just remember thinking, "it isn't about you".