God is Good

First of all, let me say that again so you can really feel how powerful that statement is:

"God is good."

The months of August and September this year were full of roller coaster moments. After learning of the attempted suicide of one of the partipants in my program, my entire life was rocked. Not only was there the instant sickness that overwhelmed me; but, the first thing that came through my head was, "why?"

Why was I such a coward? When he opened up about his struggle with depression, addiction, feeling empty...why didn't I share my faith? Because of a job?  Because it was against policy? 

The upcoming days brought a lot of questions with it, and I soon found myself face down in prayer for God to guide me to clarity. Obstacles overwhelmed me as my husband supported me in the decisions I had to make.  I would share my faith openly from that moment on, knowing that it would be a risk every day. My heart was burdened by the fact that as an employee of this company, I was disrespecting them by disobeying the rules they had put in place.  Therefore, I followed what God had placed so heavily on my heart. 

The final week of August I put in an application to pursue a position at my church.  After putting off the call to the ministry many times before, I finally gave into what God had gently pushed me towards.  The following day I received a phone call to set up a phone interview.  With the busyness of my job on my schedule, God worked out every barrier that stood in the way and cleared the very day they wanted to talk with me.

From the moment I heard her voice on the phone, the excitement of hope was ignited. The details-although nothing I would have pursued before-were exactly what I needed at this season of my life. And, after a thoughtful conversation, I was asked to come in for an interview.

The first interview went well. I was able to share how God had spoken to me through the experiences over the past year. Before I had even walked back into work, I had received an email to go through to the next stage of the process.  I was anxious to complete the assessment-totaling approximately two hours of my Friday afternoon.  Then, I waited.

Monday I received word that they were interested in calling me in for a second interview.  I was expectantly prayerful that this would be it, and I was flexible to come in on their time.  That week of waiting seemed to drag on, but it allowed me the time I needed to process and pray over what was up ahead.

The afternoon of my interview, I walked in with confidence and left with confusion.  Something about the dynamic in the room left me questioning things and my heart was crushed.

"If only I had a chance to explain myself. If I had more time to process some of the questions they had approached me with. If only I could tie up some loose ends."

I left with a bad feeling that day as the enemy tried to attack. However, the next morning I shared my concerns with my husband and received the phone call to come back in and chat.

Susan was amazing.  Her words of wisdom eased any questions I had, and I was able to finally feel at ease in the process. I let my guard down and allowed the Lord to speak through me.  Then, we left with a hug.

God gave me a peace that will surpass any understanding.

It was in that moment that I knew that He had shaped me for this pivotal moment in our lives.

Monday morning, September 30th, I walked into my supervision with my letter of resignation. I was able to share the testimony of trusting in the Lord and how He had prepared my family for this decision. Let me say this, when we walk by sight-we will be afraid.

Let's look at the facts:
I am married and recently started going through fertility treatments (more of that to come) alongside a $30,000 adoption. We have been hit with the cost of medical bills due to hospitalizations and multiple surgeries in the last three years. My car broke down in December and I have a car payment to afford. We are adults with bills and responsibilities to tend to, not to mention a mortgage. We are a two income family that, at this time, requires both incomes to pay our bills.

BUT, when we walk in faith alone-here is what God can do:
The day after I put in my two weeks as a total step of obedience, my husband was offered a job. (He has searched above and below for more than five years to find a supplement to his current income doing something he cares about.) The offer will cover more than what his current paycheck is taking on. Two days after that, I went in for my final interview and was offered the position that Friday making penny-for-penny what I am making right now. In a total of one week, God covered every single bill on our plate. I received a check from my teaching position (after waiting a month to get paid) that will pay towards more than half of my medical bills.We will be able to continue to financially support our Christian radio station. Not to mention, we will be getting an allowance that will cover our cell phones and internet services, knocking two bills off of our list to bless others.

All glory goes to Him alone. We are humbled by how much He has allowed us to be blessed with, and know that the season of pain was in fact in preparation for the outpouring of love we have received. Thank you, Lord.

God is good!