Why is it that time flies when you're having fun, and yet, time stands still when all you want to do is have fun? So much to do, so little time. Why am I working this week again? The minute hand seemed to drag as all I could do was think about the long list of "to do's" I had waiting for me this week. Not to mention future-hubby's family was flying in from Tennessee today, and we would be joining them as soon as I got off of work.
Work, seriously? I honestly think my mind was in a different world today. That's to be expected though, right? I mean, it's not everyday that you get married. My heart speeds everytime I think about it. I cannot believe I am actually days (not even weeks) away from walking down the aisle and becoming Mrs.
With that being said, it just hit me that I only have a few days to get things done. I feel like Santa preparing for Christmas Eve with all of the lists I have to check twice. Last minute shopping trips, phone calls to make, people to see, and oh how I wish I could be at more than one place at a time. Someday, I WILL learn how to say "no". Like when I overcommitted myself to spend every evening this week doing something other than what I NEED to be doing to get ready for the big day. All I know now is that, at this point, I am just ready for it to be here. I am ready to forget about everything else, everyone else, and say "I Do." Because really, I do. After two and a half years of getting to know the man that stands behind this little ring on my finger, I am so anxious to be his wife.
Trust me, we have had our ups and downs. Honestly, I question how many ups we have truly had. So many problems have stood in our way, and we have both grown more and more through them all. I am reminded of all of the many...MANY mistakes I have made over the years. The heartaches I have felt and the ones I have caused. I can only live out this relationship from today on in a way that satisfies the Lord's will for my life and marriage. God is so good to shape us into the person we are created to be. I feel as if I have finally allowed Him to take control of my life and (with resistance) hand over the pen to write my love story. In the past, I felt as if I was walking through the motions trying to create the perfect ending I desired so much. The truth is, "perfect ending" is the day the Lord calls us home, and everything until then is the steps we take to get closer to Him. It isn't about someone worshipping the ground I walk on enough to think there isn't a single flaw within me. It is about someone worshipping the God that created me and someone loving me despite the flaws I possess (and there are many).
Over time, I have placed my halo aside and realized (brutally) that I am NOT an angel. I struggle just like everyone else. I tried so hard to be someone I wanted to be, but not who I really am.
Wow, did I get off topic or what? Ultimately, the point of this blog was to let the world know that today I am meeting the people that helped raise the sweet young man that I have chosen to commit my life to. I will be gaining insight into who he really is and where he comes from. Hope they like me!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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