Thursday, February 26, 2015
February 2015, There's a Bun in the Oven
As soon as I got in my car, my head was reeling. I couldn't help but cry, laugh, repeat. The joy inside was more than I could ever explain.
Just then, I received an invite for dinner from a close friend. It was as if everything had fallen into place. I shared the news with my friend as I asked for her help in making my plans run smoothly. I would bring everything over to her house on my way home and go meet Joshua at the house as he got off work. Then, we would drive to their house together, none of the evidence in sight.
I called Joshua to check his plans, and somehow managed to keep my composure.
Then, I drove to a nearby bakery to pick up a sticky cinnamon bun, one of hubby's favorites, before getting some of the final touches at hobby lobby. Being a "regular" at hob-lob, one of the employees asked if the stickers I was hunting were for me or someone else. Maybe it was the sheer glow of excitement that gave it away, but I couldn't help but burst out in emotions in the middle of the aisle.
"We're having a baby!"
After checking out with all my supplies and once everything was strategically placed at the MC's house, I made the drive home to get Joshua. I tried to contain my excitement as he quickly got cleaned up and we drove over to dinner.
Halfway through the prep-work, my sweet friend mentioned to Joshua that her oven hadn't been getting warm when she was cooking earlier that day (Oh, I should also mention that my hubby was her builder for her new house, so this would definitely be something she would bring up). As Joshua reached for the oven door, we quickly snatched up our phones to record the precious moments that followed.
Just then, I received an invite for dinner from a close friend. It was as if everything had fallen into place. I shared the news with my friend as I asked for her help in making my plans run smoothly. I would bring everything over to her house on my way home and go meet Joshua at the house as he got off work. Then, we would drive to their house together, none of the evidence in sight.
I called Joshua to check his plans, and somehow managed to keep my composure.
Then, I drove to a nearby bakery to pick up a sticky cinnamon bun, one of hubby's favorites, before getting some of the final touches at hobby lobby. Being a "regular" at hob-lob, one of the employees asked if the stickers I was hunting were for me or someone else. Maybe it was the sheer glow of excitement that gave it away, but I couldn't help but burst out in emotions in the middle of the aisle.
"We're having a baby!"
After checking out with all my supplies and once everything was strategically placed at the MC's house, I made the drive home to get Joshua. I tried to contain my excitement as he quickly got cleaned up and we drove over to dinner.
Halfway through the prep-work, my sweet friend mentioned to Joshua that her oven hadn't been getting warm when she was cooking earlier that day (Oh, I should also mention that my hubby was her builder for her new house, so this would definitely be something she would bring up). As Joshua reached for the oven door, we quickly snatched up our phones to record the precious moments that followed.
February 2015, Read Between the Lines
February 24, 2015
My skin is pimply and I have had two serious nosebleeds-both of which are great signs of the "right" hormones being present. I am praying for a plus sign!
February 26, 2015
I am definitely hyperstimulating again. I feel bloated and keep wondering, "Where did my waist go?"
After talking my way through all the possible outcomes, I decided to take a pregnancy test.
Wait.
Should I?
Joshua and I discussed that we would wait until our doctor's visit before finding out if we were pregnant. The thing is, I didn't want to get a phone call in the middle of the afternoon tomorrow following blood work, receive a phone call from Joshua while he was at work asking what I found out, and then telling him the news over the phone. No matter what, I wanted to be together if it was good news.
I understand Joshua was really worried about me. After all we had been through and the wave of emotions that had overwhelmed me from everything in the past, he had every right to be concerned. However, this was different to me. For once I had a peace about everything. I think God knew I couldn't handle any more disappointment, and it felt like it was our time...that it was right.
Missing out on the precious moments of surprise in the past were something I hated. I wanted to have the opportunity to tell my husband, "We're having a baby!" I wanted it to be unexpected. I wanted his eyes to well up with tears as we were filled with emotions. Therefore, I decided to go take a test on my own.
Driving up to the local pharmacy, I processed how I would make this work. If it was positive, I wanted to tell Joshua that evening. It had always been a dream of mine to have a little bun in the oven with my love of baking, but how could I pull that off in a matter of...two hours?
I decided the only way to make my plans work was to take the test at the store and bolt to a nearby bakery.
I walked into the back of the store, picked up the all-too-familiar pink box of tests, checked out at the front cash register, and made the trek to the ladies room. I couldn't even contain my plans as I mentioned to the clerk, "we are praying for good news."
Once in the restroom, I couldn't help but say a prayer as my hands shook. Part of me was nervous, part of me was excited. It was difficult to get the wrapper opened, and I began to feel my eyes fill with tears at the thought of what was about to happen.
On one hand, I was going to have every dream, every prayer come true. We would finally be parents. Every surgery, every disappointment, every heart ache and tear, every poke and prod, and every penny would be worth it. On the other hand...
I just couldn't think about the devastation that would follow if...
I opened the wrapper and sat in the quiet of the bathroom as I waited for the results.
Immediately, the lines appeared. Wait, lines? Plural? Were there two? Had it even been a minute yet? Could this be true?
I couldn't help but laugh through the tears as I audibly said, "Thank you, Lord."
There, in the CVS bathroom I found out I was expecting.
There was no way to contain the excitement as I practically ran out of the restroom with soaking cheeks and a runny nose.
"I'm going to be a mom!" I yelled with my hands held high as the clerk looked my way.
My skin is pimply and I have had two serious nosebleeds-both of which are great signs of the "right" hormones being present. I am praying for a plus sign!
February 26, 2015
I am definitely hyperstimulating again. I feel bloated and keep wondering, "Where did my waist go?"
After talking my way through all the possible outcomes, I decided to take a pregnancy test.
Wait.
Should I?
Joshua and I discussed that we would wait until our doctor's visit before finding out if we were pregnant. The thing is, I didn't want to get a phone call in the middle of the afternoon tomorrow following blood work, receive a phone call from Joshua while he was at work asking what I found out, and then telling him the news over the phone. No matter what, I wanted to be together if it was good news.
I understand Joshua was really worried about me. After all we had been through and the wave of emotions that had overwhelmed me from everything in the past, he had every right to be concerned. However, this was different to me. For once I had a peace about everything. I think God knew I couldn't handle any more disappointment, and it felt like it was our time...that it was right.
Missing out on the precious moments of surprise in the past were something I hated. I wanted to have the opportunity to tell my husband, "We're having a baby!" I wanted it to be unexpected. I wanted his eyes to well up with tears as we were filled with emotions. Therefore, I decided to go take a test on my own.
Driving up to the local pharmacy, I processed how I would make this work. If it was positive, I wanted to tell Joshua that evening. It had always been a dream of mine to have a little bun in the oven with my love of baking, but how could I pull that off in a matter of...two hours?
I decided the only way to make my plans work was to take the test at the store and bolt to a nearby bakery.
I walked into the back of the store, picked up the all-too-familiar pink box of tests, checked out at the front cash register, and made the trek to the ladies room. I couldn't even contain my plans as I mentioned to the clerk, "we are praying for good news."
Once in the restroom, I couldn't help but say a prayer as my hands shook. Part of me was nervous, part of me was excited. It was difficult to get the wrapper opened, and I began to feel my eyes fill with tears at the thought of what was about to happen.
On one hand, I was going to have every dream, every prayer come true. We would finally be parents. Every surgery, every disappointment, every heart ache and tear, every poke and prod, and every penny would be worth it. On the other hand...
I just couldn't think about the devastation that would follow if...
I opened the wrapper and sat in the quiet of the bathroom as I waited for the results.
Immediately, the lines appeared. Wait, lines? Plural? Were there two? Had it even been a minute yet? Could this be true?
I couldn't help but laugh through the tears as I audibly said, "Thank you, Lord."
There, in the CVS bathroom I found out I was expecting.
There was no way to contain the excitement as I practically ran out of the restroom with soaking cheeks and a runny nose.
"I'm going to be a mom!" I yelled with my hands held high as the clerk looked my way.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
And Then There Were Three
Woke up excited for the "big day". Took progesterone capsule at 10am and prepared for our visit. Joshua picked up pineapple at Sonic for me to help the baby "stick". We took a picture to capture our last minutes as "just the two of us".
Doctor was running behind and nurse Connie prepped me for procedure. Had to drink a full glass of water to help with positioning. Embryo grade was 5A! I was awake for the entire procedure while hubby held my hand and watched on the screen. There was slight discomfort and pressure, but all I could do was pray. "Thank you, Lord."
Those moments following the procedure were satisfying and terrifying all at the same time.
"What if I do something wrong? What if it doesn't take? What if I fail?"
I found myself laying on the couch the rest of the afternoon as I "shushed" all the negatives. I propped my feet slightly up and slept through the discomfort, praying that we were finally going to have a child of our own.
That night, I satisfied my craving for pomodoro sauce at Bravo's thanks to my hubby. Then, Joshua picked up some pineapple afterwards-just to be on the safe side.
I laughed so hard, I cried! He ordered a large cup of pineapple and after ten minutes of confusion and waiting on the carhop, she arrived with a Route 44 cup filled to the brim with pineapple chunks! At least I have no excuse when it comes to eating pineapple!
Doctor was running behind and nurse Connie prepped me for procedure. Had to drink a full glass of water to help with positioning. Embryo grade was 5A! I was awake for the entire procedure while hubby held my hand and watched on the screen. There was slight discomfort and pressure, but all I could do was pray. "Thank you, Lord."
Those moments following the procedure were satisfying and terrifying all at the same time.
"What if I do something wrong? What if it doesn't take? What if I fail?"
I found myself laying on the couch the rest of the afternoon as I "shushed" all the negatives. I propped my feet slightly up and slept through the discomfort, praying that we were finally going to have a child of our own.
That night, I satisfied my craving for pomodoro sauce at Bravo's thanks to my hubby. Then, Joshua picked up some pineapple afterwards-just to be on the safe side.
I laughed so hard, I cried! He ordered a large cup of pineapple and after ten minutes of confusion and waiting on the carhop, she arrived with a Route 44 cup filled to the brim with pineapple chunks! At least I have no excuse when it comes to eating pineapple!
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
The Day Before
Nausea, cramping, dizziness, tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. We are so close! I find myself laying around more and more while having a constant conversation with God. I pray for peace over my nerves and healing for my body. I pray for strength. I pray for support for my loving husband (that has been a champ through the whole process). I pray for the sweetest, most beautiful, healthiest baby to fill my tummy. I pray to protect him/her with a healthy pregnancy. I pray for carrying him/her full term and having a perfect labor & delivery. I pray for knowledge on providing him/her with the best love a parent can give.
Knowing tomorrow is the big day, I found strength to meet my family for dinner to celebrate my Daddy's birthday. I couldn't help but think, this is it!
Knowing tomorrow is the big day, I found strength to meet my family for dinner to celebrate my Daddy's birthday. I couldn't help but think, this is it!
Monday, February 16, 2015
Good News
February 16, 2015
Pain has been persistent and I have had difficulty using the bathroom. This is day four actually. The injections are getting easier in the left rather than the right. I have so many mixed emotions, but all I can do is thank God for great news. My levels gave the doctor no reason to put off transfer, and our embryos are growing healthy and strong. Their "grades" today were:
4 a-
2 b-
5 b
6 b+
1 c
We are officially scheduled for transfer on February 18th!
Pain has been persistent and I have had difficulty using the bathroom. This is day four actually. The injections are getting easier in the left rather than the right. I have so many mixed emotions, but all I can do is thank God for great news. My levels gave the doctor no reason to put off transfer, and our embryos are growing healthy and strong. Their "grades" today were:
4 a-
2 b-
5 b
6 b+
1 c
We are officially scheduled for transfer on February 18th!
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Update
February 15, 2015
Thank goodness there's relief from nausea! There is nothing worse than consistently feeling sick and not being able to do a single thing about it. We are continuing our shots and antibiotics to prevent infection. My body continues to ache as I can't get comfy and welps are developing at my injection sites. The cramping is worse and I can't seem to step away from the hearing pad.
There's a pinched nerve in my back, leasing up to my neck. I felt it when I flinched during my shot last night. The only tging that keeps me from breaking down is knowing that we have our sweet little babies growing as we speak.
The doctor updated us on the "grade" of our embryos. Of our 18 little ones:
2 a-
8 b
6 b+
2b-
Thank goodness there's relief from nausea! There is nothing worse than consistently feeling sick and not being able to do a single thing about it. We are continuing our shots and antibiotics to prevent infection. My body continues to ache as I can't get comfy and welps are developing at my injection sites. The cramping is worse and I can't seem to step away from the hearing pad.
There's a pinched nerve in my back, leasing up to my neck. I felt it when I flinched during my shot last night. The only tging that keeps me from breaking down is knowing that we have our sweet little babies growing as we speak.
The doctor updated us on the "grade" of our embryos. Of our 18 little ones:
2 a-
8 b
6 b+
2b-
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Nausea and The Silver Lining
February 14, 2015
Nausea has not subsided.
Unfortunately, between the pain meds and the actual cramping in my stomach, I cannot seem to get comfy. My sister-in-law brought me some nausea medicine in hopes that I can relax.
We will continue progesterone shots daily for the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. Even though we have tackled more than 30 injections, these hurt on a different level. The pain lingers.
Despite the pain, nothing compares to the joy we felt when the phone rang.
Of the 25 follicles, 24 were mature, and 18 fertilized.
18!!!
We have 18 embryos growing right now.
The hope of having a child...The relief of knowing we made it this far...The amount of gratitude I have in my heart that God answers prayers...
I am overwhelmed.
Nausea has not subsided.
Unfortunately, between the pain meds and the actual cramping in my stomach, I cannot seem to get comfy. My sister-in-law brought me some nausea medicine in hopes that I can relax.
We will continue progesterone shots daily for the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. Even though we have tackled more than 30 injections, these hurt on a different level. The pain lingers.
Despite the pain, nothing compares to the joy we felt when the phone rang.
Of the 25 follicles, 24 were mature, and 18 fertilized.
18!!!
We have 18 embryos growing right now.
The hope of having a child...The relief of knowing we made it this far...The amount of gratitude I have in my heart that God answers prayers...
I am overwhelmed.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Retrieval and Pizza?
February 13, 2015
My body has never felt so many emotions at once. Hubby went back to the prep room with me while they hooked me up to the IV and discussed the procedure. I don't recall half of what was said, I'm sure, because all I could think of was, "this is it."
My doctor came in and then the anesthesiologist. I remember them taking me across the room as I watched my doctor at the foot of the bed. The dizziness kicked in and I closed my eyes.
Next thing you know, I am back in recovery as my nurse is telling me how everything went. I had ice water and cried as she said they took 25 follicles.
25?
25.
They taught hubby how to give a new shot and made him give me .25mL before we left. I was so ready to get home.
We left as hubby drove to get me a smoothie from Jamba Juice.
"And french fries."
I've been wanting salty things like you wouldn't believe.
Then, the nausea kicked in.
As we rounded the drive-thru at a nearby McDonald's, I found my head in floor. The car was spinning and my body was heaving. I had to get out.
Joshua asked me to wait until we parked, and I flung the door open to gasp at the fresh air. Then, I crawled into the floor and rested my head in the seat.
As he disappeared for a minute, I prayed to not get sick. Then, the smell hit my nose.
Is that pizza?
Unfortunately, hubby's need to eat was as great as mine. And, he had grabbed a "hot 'n ready pizza" next to Jamba Juice.
That had to have been the longest ride of my life.
My body has never felt so many emotions at once. Hubby went back to the prep room with me while they hooked me up to the IV and discussed the procedure. I don't recall half of what was said, I'm sure, because all I could think of was, "this is it."
My doctor came in and then the anesthesiologist. I remember them taking me across the room as I watched my doctor at the foot of the bed. The dizziness kicked in and I closed my eyes.
Next thing you know, I am back in recovery as my nurse is telling me how everything went. I had ice water and cried as she said they took 25 follicles.
25?
25.
They taught hubby how to give a new shot and made him give me .25mL before we left. I was so ready to get home.
We left as hubby drove to get me a smoothie from Jamba Juice.
"And french fries."
I've been wanting salty things like you wouldn't believe.
Then, the nausea kicked in.
As we rounded the drive-thru at a nearby McDonald's, I found my head in floor. The car was spinning and my body was heaving. I had to get out.
Joshua asked me to wait until we parked, and I flung the door open to gasp at the fresh air. Then, I crawled into the floor and rested my head in the seat.
As he disappeared for a minute, I prayed to not get sick. Then, the smell hit my nose.
Is that pizza?
Unfortunately, hubby's need to eat was as great as mine. And, he had grabbed a "hot 'n ready pizza" next to Jamba Juice.
That had to have been the longest ride of my life.